But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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