The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
