I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
