I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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