i love accidental penises.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
