I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
