I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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