there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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