Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
