FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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