Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
