he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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