OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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