I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
