but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
