Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He has the fingertips of a God
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