Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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