What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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