I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
