Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
