Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
