If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
