This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
