I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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