I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
