She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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