I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
