i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You are a genius and a whore.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
