I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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