I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
