I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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