dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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