I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
