the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
