You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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