I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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