she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The air was thick with penises
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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