Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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