Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
