Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
