HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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