Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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