Kiss
Puke
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
