Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
