She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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