just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
