I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im six kinds of drunk right now
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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