Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
