Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
