why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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