Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
