i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
