Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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