i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
