i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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