He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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