You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sponge bath it is.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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