There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
