Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
vagina is talking i cant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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