I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
