I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
