i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
