Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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