it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
