eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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