Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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